Jesus Never Treats Me Like I Deserve

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“He has borne our griefs, carried our sorrows…” (Isa 53:4)

Wind Farm
Wind Farm
One of the reasons that I thought to say at times how that “It has been my experience that grief can be a positive experience if we let it happen,” is because of some of the ways I have typically thought about grief and sorrow in the past, and even up until recently. But I have been realizing that this may not be a healthy way to look at it. I will try to explain briefly below:

Grief is not always just “something that just happens to us;” it is more something that we do. Grief is something Jesus did. It did not just “accidentally happen” to Him. This one thought alone has shone a completely different light on my own situation. I have come up with a list that reflects why grief is something we do – or at least, it can be. And this seems to be giving me some level of control over processing the death of my wife, over which I had no control. This list is not all-inclusive. It only reflects examples. Each person will have variations or additions to add to this list. Yes, I am finding too that there are ways grief just happens to me; but even that is closely connected to this list of examples for what the grieving person can do.

1) Recounting The Story
2) Recognizing The Loss
3) Recalling The Past
4) Recovering The Present
5) Reconstructing The Future

This is a short list, mostly because I like short lists. There are many shades and colours that could be added.

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Yesterday I had a grief event. Some might say “it just happened to you;” but after I recount this event, I will ask a question that I hope will help others, like it has helped me. My wife died a short while ago from cancer, and there is certainly grief and sorrow in my life right now.. .

About a year ago my wife and I were having a great discussion about our hopes and dreams and things we would like to do “someday.” I can still picture the sparkle in her eye and her sweet smile as I recounted one of my ambitions. I had great fun describing in minute details a certain type of vehicle that I would really like to own “someday.” Now fast-forward to last week. I was surfing the internet, looking for something else, when i noticed an ad for a vehicle that was for sale. Out of curiosity, I clicked, and as soon as I saw the pictures of the vehicle; I just burst out bawling like crazy. It was EXACTLY what I had described to my wife a year ago, right down to the colour, and the model. So, that was my first “grief event” regarding this subject. To make a long story shorter, I am now the owner of said vehicle; but it did not happen without another grief event or two. The other day when I was talking with the lady at the bank, I started telling her this story, and I lost it again. Just uncontrollable weeping. That grief event was really hard. At least for me.

Yesterday I drove the vehicle home, and I am looking at it as I type out this note.

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Is there anything in my grief event that you could pick out from the above list?

This leads me to my main question. Its a question for me, just as much as anyone reading this:

If you were going to paint us a word picture of your grief experience or thoughts, what would we see in that picture? (remember, each person is unique and different, and so too will be their grief. You can use any “shades” or “colours” you want, because its something that you will do/have done, personally).

This is why I have been thinking that perhaps it’s true. Grief is not just something that merely happens to us. Grief is something we do.

Jesus did something about our grief. Jesus went before us, and carried it all to Calvary. Jesus has already “carried our sorrows.” Jesus has borne my grief. All of it. Because He alone knows just what the trials and sorrows of these “last days,” we are all embroiled in would be like for me, personally.

We live in a sometimes, hard, unfeeling, uncharitable world. Satan and his confederacy are trying their every art to seduce and entrap the souls for whom Christ has given his precious life. And every one who loves God in sincerity and truth will love the souls for whom Christ has died. If we wish to do good to souls, our success with these souls will be in proportion to their belief in our belief and appreciation of them. Respect shown to the human, struggling soul, is the sure means through Christ Jesus, of the restoration of the self-respect that many of us have lost in a chaotic world of grief and sorrows.

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Yes, you could “exercise your rights” and treat people “as they deserve.”

But what if Christ had treated us like that? Jesus, the undeserving was treated as we deserve. While we are treated by Christ with grace and love as we do not deserve, but as He deserved.

Treat people as you think they richly deserve, and you may very well cut off from them the last thread of life, spoil your influence, and ruin the soul. Will it pay? No! I say, No! A hundred times. No! Bind these souls, who need all the help it is possible for you to give them, close to a living, sympathizing, pitying heart, overflowing with Christ-like love, and you will save a soul from death and hide a multitude of sins. {paraphrased from GH, May 1, 1898 par. 3}

All I know today is that Jesus NEVER treats me as I deserve. Jesus treats me like royalty.

If Jesus is in your life and heart, there is always something you can say about Him. Please, add your comments below in the comment box. All are welcome. (1 John 1:1-3).

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“If I say, “My foot is slipping,” Your faithful love will support me, LORD. When I am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy.” — Psalm 94:18-19 Listen to chapter . Powered by

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